Taking care of an ill loved one can be a lot of work, and it can take a toll on a family caregiver’s mental and physical health. Family and friends who want to be supportive may find it hard to know how to help. For caregivers, even being asked “what can I do for you?” can add to their stress, because they may worry about asking too much, or are embarrassed to ask for help with something personal. Sometimes even thinking of suggestions can be overwhelming.

Here are some concrete ways you can offer support:

Bring food:Having someone else take care of a meal can be a relief. Keep in mind, there’s a difference between “can I make you dinner sometime?” and “I am making you dinner. Can I drop it off at 5pm?”. Fit around the caregiver without making them do any planning. Make it clear that you are bringing a meal, but not coming in, so they should not worry about cleaning up or making time for a visit.

Laundry: Laundry needs to be done regularly, but it can easily fall by the wayside. If you say you are coming to do it, the caregiver has no need to be embarrassed about asking for help with this personal chore.

Respite: Offer your services to stay home with their ill loved one so they can go out. This gives them the opportunity to do something they may not normally have a chance to do, such as errands, shopping, or a meal out.

Gift of self-care: Give them a gift certificate so they can go to a spa, for a massage, or shopping – an opportunity to take some time for themselves. (This is especially good if you can combine it with “respite” above!)

Take care of pets: Walk the dog, clean out the litter box, or pick up pet food. Some caregivers feel guilty their pets aren’t getting enough attention, and they’ll feel better knowing their animal is getting some loving care.

Offer to run errands: Make it simple by saying, “I am going to the grocery store/pharmacy, what could I pick up for you?”

Outside maintenance: Mow the lawn, weed the flowerbeds, or shovel the snow.

Check in regularly: Call or text, just to say hi, or to listen if they need to talk. Sending a funny video or photo shows you are thinking of them. But don’t be upset if they don’t answer, or don’t answer right away.

Keeping all of this in mind, you can still ask “Is there anything that you need?”. This gives the caregiver an opening if ever there is something they need help with but are reluctant to ask. The most important thing to remember is to let the caregiver know that you are there for them and that you are ready to support them however they need.

–Emily Verrall
From Share&Care Spring 2026
Visit amiquebec.org/sources for references