Relationships are an important part of our lives. They bring us joy and fulfill our social needs. Even if they are a positive light in our lives, relationships can also be very challenging. With these fluctuations of positive and negative experiences, it’s easy to understand how relationships and mental health can go hand in hand. We’ve explored this in detail, and here are some of the big questions that were covered.

 

How do I first tell someone about my mental illness?

This is an important conversation to have, but don’t feel pressured to tell everything right away. You don’t have to divulge your whole life story on a first date. Slowly mention things. For example, you can mention you experience anxiety and that you have seen a therapist for help. Even simply mentioning that small bit of information can be a good way to open the conversation and make it aware to the other person. Don’t be afraid to go with your gut instinct; if you want to mention something do it, and if you don’t, then don’t do it. There is no textbook way of going about it, so each person’s experience will be unique. And it might happen that you open up to someone on a date and it might not end in a romantic relationship, but you may make a friend out of it.

 

My partner and I have different needs. How do we address that?

Like many aspects of a relationship, communication is key. It is important to talk with your partner about this. If both people express what each is looking for and what each person needs, it avoids having miscommunications and you make sure that everyone is on the same page. Each person has a different way of expressing their love and emotions and understanding these can avoid resentment if one partner feels the other is not fulfilling their needs. Sometimes talking about it might be difficult, and if this is the case find other ways of communicating, like partaking in an activity. It can make the environment feel more comfortable and calmer and can make it easier to communicate your feelings. Before discussing this topic with your partner, make sure you are aware of your own limits and boundaries because that is going to be an important part of the conversation.

 

My partner is struggling with their mental health and I think they should seek help. How do I tell them this?

This can feel like a big thing to approach, and you have to use the proper language to communicate what you want to say. Especially when it comes to saying to someone you think they would benefit from seeking help, make sure you do not tell that what they should do. This can actually make things worse. Instead, tell them about your concerns and suggest that going to seek help can aid them in the long run. If you yourself have received help for issues before, mention it to them. If they know you got help and felt better then they might be more inclined to do so. You have to be approachable when exploring the topic, and understand that you might be met with resistance at first. Seeking help can be something really big for someone, and they might not be ready right away. What is important is that you let them know you support them and are there for them.

 

Navigating conflict.

When two people stay in the same place without having some form of escape, it can be like a pressure cooker. If there is conflict and no way to step from the situation, emotions can explode. That’s why it’s important to have somewhere you can step away from the situation to calm down. Whether it’s going out for a walk, going to your room by yourself, or even sitting in your car, having a space that allows you to be alone is essential. When in an argument, for example, sometimes it is better if both people step away from each other in order to calm down and understand what specific emotions they are currently experiencing. Often, we are quick to respond in anger in pressured situations, and anger can be a mask for other emotions like sadness or anxiety. And understand that it’s okay to wait until the next morning to continue the conversation. If you take the time to step away from the conflict and sleep on it, you can have a better chance to deal with it in a matter of fact way rather than an emotional way.

–Gabrielle Lesage

From Share&Care Spring 2021